Barney: Marshall, I should feel tremors of psychitude rock my body like a seizure. That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Marshall: Wow, that was really specific.
Marshall: I explained how you get a mani-pedi once a month.
Barney: Weekly, wolverine. Some of us care.
Barney: [On laptop] Check out Scarlet Johansson at the Oscars. If I could nail any celebrity it would definitely be Scarlet Johansson.
Barney: Hot. Talented. And nobody does that many Woody Allen movies without serious daddy issues.
Marshall: [With a big smile on his face] If I could nail any celebrity, it would be Lily. She's the star of my heart.
Lily: [Looks over at Marshall] Awwwwwh!
Lily: [Looks at Barney and Robin] For me it would be Hugh Jackman.
What are we doing? We’re men. Mom?! Leave the crust on!– Marshall Eriksen (via mickeykate)
It would be pitch black, in the middle of the woods, and I could never see...– Marshal Eriksen (via jtac)